December 1: Quitting Facebook (for one month)

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I’ve been pondering my relationship with Facebook for a while, and I’ve written about it in the past.  I happened upon the idea of quitting Facebook for a month, a few weeks ago. In the weeks in between then and now, I’ve been oscillating between doing it and not.

The fact that I have spent so much time mulling it over in my mind says to me, that yes, I need to do this. Like any addiction, there will always be a reason to keep going. But seriously, this is Facebook, why is even the prospect of coming off it a bit scary?

It’s that thought that sold me. That thought, and this excellent article by Mark Serrels, that appeared in SMH on Monday. The timing was amazing, and if I’m getting all woo woo on you, I’d say it was a SIGN! Another sign was that it didn’t appear in my Facebook feed. I found it all by myself!!! (Reassuring me that I don’t need Facebook to find interesting, meaningful and current content to read).

The truth of it is, I constantly feel time poor. I look forward to the evening so I can watch a documentary that I’ve heard about, or read a book, or finish a sketch. Or anything really, that’s not Facebook. But every night it is the same. I think ‘I’ll just have a quick look, before I start (insert lovely activity that is not Facebook that I’ve planned for the evening). Then suddenly it’s 10pm, my eyes have glazed over and I’ve not moved off the couch.

Just like Mark Serrels describes in his piece:

REFRESH… REFRESH… REFRESH

 

 

angryThere is also the outrage. I’m so tired of the outrage on Facebook. There are somethings that deserve to media attention, all our energy and outrage. But there are many other things that when I see them I can just feel energy being dragged out of me. There are beautiful and kind people frequenting Facebook, but there are also mean, bully, passive aggressive people on there as well, who are using it to be mean, to bully and be passive aggressive.

I don’t think it’s the forum for an argument. But it has become a platform for this, which is a shame.

I admire people who can log in once or twice a week; Facebook does not seem to have that same insidious affect on their lives. It not only robs me of my evenings, it’s now also stealing my thinking time from me while I decide whether or not to take this challenge. Thinking time while I’m hanging out the washing, or chopping spuds for dinner. Important thinking time where I work out what children need to be where, what’s happening on the weekend, whether I need to buy birthday presents, cook a cake, or take a plate. The sort of thinking that has to be done when you’re running a household with five people in it. Not very exciting thinking, but necessary nonetheless.

So I decided, it would be an experiment just to see. To see how it feels in the evening to have time to do all those things that I want to, to see how connected I still feel, to actually see how important it is to me.

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I’m staying on Instagram, it just doesn’t seem to suck my time the way Facebook does. I’m going to continue to blog, so if you want to continue reading and usually click though from Facebook, click on the subscribe link and my posts will be emailed to you.

I’ll be honest, I’m a little uncomfortable about this experiment. Again, this is further evidence that it needs to happen.

From midnight tonight, until January 1, 2017 I’ll be absent from Facebook. December seems an appropriate time to do this; I want to be fully engaged and present with my family during the Christmas period and I’m sure this will help.

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Is anyone else up for the challenge? I’d love to share the journey with someone else, but I’m also happy to go it alone.

Let me know if you’re up for the challenge.

 I’d love to know how you feel about Facebook, does it take up too much room in your life?

 

The ‘Could-Do’ List – Why It Makes Life Better

simple-things-photoI’ve mentioned before that I love to read UK magazine The Simple Things. I love that it keeps reminding me to slow down, take stock and enjoy all the small things. A regular feature in the mag, that I just love, is the ‘Could-Do’ list.

The headline “Your Could-Do List” then follows with a sub-heading “Things you might want to do this month (no pressure!)”. Quirky, and beautiful. Pregnant with possibility.

These days we are all slaves to our ‘To-Do’ list. There is always something being added, even when you happily cross something off it. With that comes that heavy feeling, the weight of responsibility, the slight panic of drowning under the pressure of all the things that need doing.

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Taking Stock: September

My Happy Place

The change in seasons always brings about contemplation; for me anyway. It marks the passing of time much more significantly than the start of a new month. It’s the physicality of season change that does it. Suddenly I feel too warm in all my layers, and I can leave the house without worrying about a coat (sometimes).

With that comes the feeling that time is escaping me; it’s a border-line panic about something I can’t quite put my finger on. When this feeling sets in it’s time to take stock; the perfect antidote to this uncomfortable low-grade panic.  [Read more…]

Five Feel-good Things To Do

Five Feel Good things to do

Ok, see here in Melbourne we’ve all been tricked a bit. Had the rug pulled from under us in the weather stakes. When I left the house this morning it was like 6C. On Thursday I took my laptop and sat outside and worked on my back deck – it was 22C!!! The sun was shining, I wore a dress and had bare legs!

Bare legs in August!!!

It’s much harder to take this cold snap, when the delights of Spring have been so tantalisingly close. We were whooping in celebration that the winter has passed, only to be plunged back in the following day with torrential rain and temperatures hovering at 10C.

So if you’re feeling like you’ve had the rug pulled from under you, right when you were rifling around for that bikini, here are five feel good things you can do. [Read more…]

Our History, Our Mother’s History and the Family Dance: How It Impacts Us Now

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Last week I watched In Utero, a fascinating documentary screened by Suburban Sandcastles. The documentary was based on how trauma experienced by the mother whilst pregnant or prior to pregnancy can inform the foetus’ experience of life, their development and their behaviour.

I found it amazing and I have written about this before, for Sunday Life. I specifically wrote about how my experience of recurrent miscarriage prior to my oldest daughter’s birth has affected her, and her world view. If you’re interested, you can read that article here.

So this is something that I’ve had first hand experience with, so for me it was amazing to hear of the scientific research that backs this up. It was no longer just a personal experience, it is something that has been backed up by research.

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