The Hardness: It’s Just That Sometimes Life Is Hard

I have an amazing life, I am the first to recognise this. I know it. I have three beautiful healthy children. A gorgeous, generous, thoughtful and hilariously funny husband, a comfortable home. I am healthy (mostly). But sometimes the hardness comes and sits on my chest. For no reason at all.

When I say hardness, I mean the hardness of life. When easy things become hard. Life is ticking over, the world is turning as it does, but suddenly life is like swimming against a tide.

I go into a zone where I am critical of myself. I convince myself of all sorts of not good things. The world beneath me is shaky and uncertain.

This partly why I decided to have a break from Facebook, as I think if your armour is fragile social media (but particularly Facebook) can easily crack through it.

My husband has had surgery recently so my workload on the home front significantly increased for a time (testament to how much he does at home). I also have a dodgy hip and because of this I can’t sleep properly. I get sciatica at night and it continuously wakes me up. I feel like I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in weeks. Sleep deprivation alters your world view. I know this from experience.

And Christmas… And I miss my Mum.

I got a text message from my daughter’s ballet school to say that I should make sure that I am at their Christmas party because she is getting an award. So proud and happy. But sad too, because Mum is the first person I would call to tell.

But, no one to call.

Everyone is busy, and frazzled, and tired.

I think there are more people than we know who feel like I do. Particularly at this time of year.

Why do we hide vulnerability? Is it so bad to be human? Struggle is a deeply human experience so I am perplexed about why we try to pretend that life is peachy all of the time.

Social media certainly perpetuates this. But I think it’s ok for life not to be peachy all the time. And it’s ok not to pretend that it is.

But I know that tomorrow is a new day.

There is sunshine ahead. 

How are you feeling at this jolly time of year?



  1. Mandy Hilton says

    Great article Collette. Life is good and I dearly love my family and where I live. You are so right, these hiccups of hardness do seem to halt the regularity of life. This year I’ve tried to challenge those hiccups with positivity, and by not focussing so much on the hardness their day to day effects have reduced. For once, I’m organised for the festive season and I’m looking forward to more enjoying and less stressing. Whilst having more time at home has made this possible, your blog has given me ideas and concepts to bring into my life and I am certainly grateful for your wisdom and view of life. I’m sitting at my kitchen table enjoying a second cup of tea and thanking you.

    • collette says

      This makes me so happy Mandy. I am so happy to hear. You are such a loyal reader and it means a lot to me. Enjoy that cuppa. One can never have too many cups of tea. xx

  2. says

    A beautifully written post. I can attest to sleep deprivation altering your view/mood of the world. It is just awful. People who don’t suffer from sleep problems do not understand it, but it is a very debilitating condition. I am sorry you can’t call your mum to tell her about her ballerina granddaughter. 🙁 Your words always resonate with me xx

    • collette says

      Thank you lovely. You’re right in the thick of the sleep deprivation having a brand new bub; it doesn’t get any easier, does it. xx

  3. says

    We should never hide vulnerability Collette. Your’e absolutely right and life is sometimes a real struggle. 2016 has been a bit of a turning point year for me too and I have have realised I am utterly exhausted in my current job. So new year and new plans. I think that we have to embrace the exhaustion and struggle sometimes in order to move on and make new plans.
    One thing I have loved this year is meeting you online and you have inspired me in so many ways.
    Things will be peachy again. Sit with it for a while. Much love xxxxxx

    • collette says

      I’m already feeling a bit better. And I’m about to go and make a couple of g&t’s, so things are about to improve even more! You’re so right though, the struggle is a necessary part of growth I think. I’m so excited for you and your plans for next year. Making plans is always a good thing, even if things don’t turn out as expected. It always makes me feel better. It has been so great meeting you also, you make me laugh a lot! And you’re kind, you’re a good soul. 💖 Thank you lovely. xx

  4. says

    Well, i have been meaning to comment for weeks – i so get it! I agree that life is amazing, and i also feel the privilege of good health, a ‘safe’ life, family and freedom to be whatever we want. But. i have also felt that hardness, that inability to sometimes rise above what i know will be temporary difficulties in life, not just for myself – what really gets to me is other people’s stuff – that regret for their situation, wishing i could change it, wanting to help, but how? And wondering how they will ever get past their ‘now’. And some days, I can take a deep breath, enjoy what it is I am doing and think “this too shall pass” about the hard stuff, and just let it go. Just wish those days could roll along a bit more often!

    • collette says

      I guess if you love someone it’s hard not to get caught up in their stuff, it’s part of the deal isn’t it? Taking the good times with the bad. And I guess as hard as the hard stuff is, when things are good, it is those hard times (or the memory of them) that sweetens those good times.

What are you thoughts?