I don’t want to use this forum as a base to whinge and complain, but I just want to throw it out there. Being a parent is really hard!
For all the wonderful things our children bring us, the yin and yang of life says that they bring equally difficult, ghastly or down right horrible moments too.
This post hasn’t come from no where – I’ve been really struggling with my three year old. She is spirited, defiant, determined, and funny. All those things will one day serve her well, but for now I can hold her solely responsible for the extra wrinkles I’m sporting. And no, they are NOT laugh lines.
As soon as I think I’ve got her worked out, my new ingenious approach no longer carries any weight. It feel like I’m constantly raging a battle with her. I’m told it’s just the ‘threes’. The twos were bad enough, and we are early doors in the threes – she doesn’t turn four until January. I know, I can feel your sympathy radiating through my laptop screen.
Here are a few of the things I know, that I reflect on to try and make myself feel better:
This is parenting – it has its ups and downs
This is the threes – ‘this too shall pass’
As an adult, she’ll be remarkable (or a complete disaster – because, well, she just won’t be told!)
It is possible to be a boss at three years old
It is possible to be a shadow of your former self because of said three year old
We are all learning from this
Wine helps – a great deal.
A couple of very close friends have been lovely and supportive, hurrah for the sisterhood.
Love you girls.
But I just wanted to send a shout out to all you Mums and Dads who are living the same struggles.
And I know, first world problems, and all that. I know she’s well, she’s safe, she’s happy (well, mostly), but just so you know – she’s an absolute tyrant! And living with this day-to-day tyranny, inflicted by a three year old, it’s natural to sit back while staring into that helpful glass of wine and say
“Is this really my life?”
And for those of you who are about to tell me it doesn’t end with the ‘threes’ – and to wait till the teens – I know already. Four of my sisters are ten or more years ahead of me in this parenting journey, so I kind of know what’s to come. But I also read this post the other day on teens, “My Kids Have Sucked the Life Out of Me”
So yeah, excited for the future. Ah hem.
Last weekend I was hugely traumatised by a very loud and public three year old melt down, made entirely worse by a particular adult (ah hem, me) losing my shit also. I was ashamed and embarrassed (of me and her) and the more people that tried to help, the worse it got.
But one Mum came up to me after it had all died down, and people were only talking about it in whispers, behind their hands, rather than to me. And she said ‘It’s such a hard job, we’ve all been there. And Collette, you’re doing a great job’
What a kind and supportive friend. In truth, my response to my daughter made the whole thing worse (so not so much, on that occasion), but this kind and generous woman didn’t want me to feel bad. Like I said before
“Hurrah for the sisterhood.’
So if you’ve got the struggles happening in your house right now, what ever age they are, can I just tell you: You are doing a great job!!
And PS – wine is good. xx